Covid story arcs
Last night we went to dinner to celebrate fur monster's life one more time and dine on chicken, her favorite food. Sitting outside on the restaurant's newly created patio, being served by cheerful people wearing masks and plastic face guards is still unsettling and dystopian. I struggle with it, and refuse to normalize what I fear might become normal.
This weekend was not the story arc I was expecting. Not that I had any true expectations, because I learned early in life not to. But it's weird working in the house without her asleep next to me, or more often than not, on my lap, especially during Zoom calls. Stranger still, the absence of her tail brushing past while I'm seated on the toilet. It was mildly annoying then. I'd give anything for it now.
The little things become big things, the more things change.
Friends have wished condolences. The majority of them are pet owners who have dealt with loss before and have shared their sad tales of misery, most likely as a form of latent catharsis. I understand why they do it, although I don't particularly find it helpful anymore than I did when people express the same sentiments over the loss of parents.
"Your dad died? Man, I'm sorry. My dad died, too." Thanks?
Others wanted to know what happened, which is a question I've always found strange to ask. What if she'd been shot or died in some horribly traumatic way? one friend wondered if there was a chance she might have gotten Covid. While the CDC states that the situation is evolving, they suggest that it is possible for pets to get it, although she was an indoor cat, so the chances of it are unlikely, unless one of us brought it home without knowing. Since none of us have had symptoms I would assume not. We've kept our exposure to other humans to the barest minimum possible.
In April, I missed proximity. Companionship and interactions from strangers and friends alike. Four months later, the hermetic life is serene. The more insular I am, the safer I feel.
Yesterday I briefly entertained the thought of renting an RV and taking a family road trip, now that the issue of finding a pet sitter (especially during these times) is no longer a factor. When I got on Google maps, however, I couldn't think of a place within reasonable driving distance I wanted to visit. I switched over to Expedia, looking to see if there was any reasonable trip bundle but the thought of spending any period of time in a plane quickly changed that plan.
L.A, has been colder and greyer than usual. Normally at this time we would have had some 80 degree days at the beaches. Not this year. It's as is an uneasy white cloud has settled in, refusing to break. I've managed to keep the weather malaise at bay by staying busy although not by getting back to the new novel as it seems insurmountable right now. It needs an overhaul, and I know it. but I'm glad I'm waiting because within the past few weeks I've found some fodder that will help make the story that much more unique. I just need a bit more and then I'll get back to it. The plot isn't thickening so much as forming. Either way, I'm optimistic.